69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was born a porn star she said
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
