I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
