Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
