If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
