yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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