I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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