so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
