you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize