You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
