my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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