I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
