at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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