Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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