I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
