If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
