so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
