i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
