My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
