Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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