She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
