i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
