i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
