You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
