Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
