Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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