found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
