and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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