you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize