Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
