We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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