I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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