I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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