I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Randomize