i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
