haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
