No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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