It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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