I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
