I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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