I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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