my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
