my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
