I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
