We're facebook friends in real life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
