ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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