Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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