you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
