Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
