he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
