he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
