i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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