I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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