The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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