M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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