i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
