Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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