nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
