somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
