he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize