she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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