if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
