Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm at about main and main street
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
